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An Election of Fear and Hate

Sunday, 01 May 2016 02:47
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‘Blame it, Name it, Change it’ is a way to engage right now with an issue you need to resolve. 

 

Blame it. The media, money, the GOP or Democratic Party or _____ is producing an election of lesser of evil or candidates that will create four more years of fear and hate.  People will pick Hillary because they hate Trump, or Trump because the fear Hillary.  If Hillary wins the hate will be on Clinton legacy hate and fear of losing power to women and minorities. After all we just had eight years of Obama hate.  If Trump wins his racist, bully, ‘I know how to run a business therefore a country and don’t question me’ will be met with resistance worldwide.  If Bernie wins he will be hated for his socialist ideas that actually exist and work in other countries.  If Cruz wins we will get more manipulation in favor of the 1%, less real change for the entire country in every vector.   The election is not about leading the country but who can produce the most money and manipulate the American people.

Name it.  I found this quote by Edward Morrow, “When the politicians complain that TV turns their proceedings into a circus, it should be make plain that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained.”  The media, the election process, our government, are all reflections of us.  What we have or have not paid attention too. What is coming up to be healed and changed is showing us in what is broken- or not serving us.  These things did not just happen, we built them, we supported them, and we bought into them.  Consciously or unconsciously, proactively, through ignorance or apathy for whatever reason.  They are a reflection of what we need to change and where we need to go.  How long we stay here is up to us.  The more we ignore it, expect someone else to fix it as if we have no ownership in the collective, the longer we will wallow in it and even repeat it.  . These things are not    anymore (from the last century).  Their time has come, they need to break and be rebuilt new paradigms.

Change it.  When the government is afraid of the people it creates policy and systems that serve the people. To return to leadership that represents the collective, not a sector either in support or by suppression and discrimination, we must unite. Recognize our common-unity.  Look for ways to end division and separation in every moment of every day.  It starts at home and in our neighborhoods with questioning our own beliefs and actions that result in division and separation.  We all do it, we all have to stop.  We have to let the media, money and leaders know we mean business.  We are in charge and must take that charge. We all have something to give others, it is time to define our individual success by the success of the whole. We either all arrive on shore together or all of our individual ships will sink, it is a matter of time.

When the people are afraid of the government, they believe they must arm themselves, isolate themselves and create more division and separation.  Which breeds more violence, corruption, suffering, drama and trauma for all, even those who believe they are insulated.   The more you have the more you have to loose and thus the harder you hang on, dig in and separate from the whole.  Our abundance was provided to give not to hoard.

People are voicing and participating—and we must do that in a way that brings us together, not more separation.  While it seems so, this is not an election of angry white men fearing for what has already happened, the loss of their reign.  They can try and hang on to what is already gone and never was sustainable.  Their suffering is their choice.  Let us not make it ours.  The rest of us are busy building what is new, what includes the whole, as we understand the golden egg is only there if we take care of the goose.

Submit your Blame It, Name It, Change It

Let Resistance Rip

Sunday, 01 May 2016 02:15
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There is saying in my field, permission to resist is permission to process. This is a wise statement.  Physically, energetically, mentally and spiritually you cannot allow and resist at the same time.  It is impossible.  There are many illustrations of this.  Let’s start with physically. Put your hand up against another person’s hand, as if you were going to high five, but instead just match up palms and fingers.  Now, one of you push.   The other person has a choice to either push back, resist the force or allow the force to move your hand.  You cannot do both period. You either allow or resist, there is no in between.

This is what happens energetically, mentally and spiritually.  You cannot allow and resist and the same time period.  What does resistance look like for you?  When you are resisting a change, a behavior, decision or choice that will move you forward, perhaps into the unknown, out of your comfort zone but you know it is good for you, the right thing to do for you but still you resist.  Perhaps that looks like avoidance, apathy, staying real busy and on the move, allowing distractions or getting everything else done.  It may sound like doubt, rationalization (I will wait until x, if I had x then y, I can’t until x), excuses, even projecting blame, shame, guilt, doubt and shoulds on to others.  It may feel like fear, doubt, guilt, self judgement, confusion, self-pity or similar.  You are telling the Universe to give you more of what you are resisting.  You know what your resistance looks, sounds and feels like if you stop and ask.  It doesn’t feel good ever, it is disempowering.

While you are resisting you cannot allow.  As such, the very thing you want will never arrive, the Universe is giving you what you are vibrating, which is whatever you are resisting.   Resistance is not good or bad, it just is and when it comes up it is a gift.  It is showing you where or what you need to look at in order to get where you want or what you want.  You can’t by pass what you need to heal, transform, change, educate or update and jump right to allowance energy.  It is by accepting and looking at the need behind the resistance that you dissolve it and that frees up the space to allow.

That is the essence behind the saying permission to resist is permission to process. Process means to accept the ugly, give the resistance a voice in order to see what it needs. Love yourself for resisting.  Say, I love myself in doubt, in fear, in _____”.  I love myself for resisting change.  That statement alone changes the energy.  Once you love yourself right where you are, you see you.

Ask yourself what it is you really need. If you stopped resisting what would free up in your life, energy, perspective?  What do you really need that underlies the resistance and how can you provide that for yourself?  Once you see you, you quit asking others to see you (and quit drama, trauma, blame, shame).  There is a breath and you can identify what you need. Your attention shifts to understanding and getting your needs met and in doing so you are now in allowance. You are allowing your needs to be met.  It is then you will begin to feel and see change.  Let resistance rip and in doing so it will RIP.

What is the Woo Woo Breakdown? 

Get over it!  Just love yourself.  There is a reason this happened.  Don’t take it so personally.  It is their problem, let it go.  These are examples of what I call “woo woo” statements.  You know some magic is in them, but you can’t crack the code and access the relief you are seeking.  They remain words without any tangible meaning.

 

I decided to create the Woo Woo Breakdown and bring some insight. Take these as seeds and tend your own garden, add your own comments or post a Woo Woo for Barb to breakdown.

 

Formula—-examples of the conversation, what others want, when say it, what they mean, need versus.  What you need.  What you can do for yourself.

The Ref Cost Us the Game

Monday, 04 April 2016 00:16
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Blame it. Being and ex basketball player and watching basketball games here in March madness, this comes up. Yes referees make bad calls, no doubt. In high school we used to joke the girls got all the refs in training. Referees are human, they will make bad calls.  I stewed in calls in high school and fouled out many a game.  I don’t know who picked Villanova in the men’s NCAA Final Four Division 1 to win it, but they scored if they did. It was a crazy unpredictable bracket this year with talent spread out among many teams and whoever executed on game day won in many cases.

Claim It.  I will never forget what a wise coach told me.  That a referee never makes or breaks a game. If it comes down to one call then we didn’t do enough of something right.  Defense, offense, execution, turnovers, etc.  Ever see a player miss a shot and then turn around and foul almost right away?  I have done that, an emotional foul.  It is true that playing sports is more mental than physical.  Most anyone can learn the physical and even excel but few master the mental concentration.  Especially when things are not going well.  That is what execution in sports means, getting and staying in physical shape, doing the mental preparation and then staying with the plan during the game, while adjusting and willing to make courageous calls when needed.

Change It. It never felt good to blame a ref. It was me who I was mad at.  Me for not performing the best I new I could. I got lazy.  So, when I blame others for a bad call at work, a marginal decision, I can remember that is just mirror to what I need to work on to improve my game.

Submit your Blame It, Name It, Change It

You Don’t Know

Monday, 04 April 2016 00:04
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You are right I don’t. But there is no shame in thinking I do, or for wanting you to know something going on inside of me. It is my job, and mine only, to know me. It is your job, and yours only, to know you.

 

We want others to know us, so then it will be easier for us. If they only would ‘X’ then we wouldn’t have to ‘Y.’ That is the same as asking them to do your job. They are busy doing their job, knowing themselves. And most of us, including you, resent it when you are asked to do someone else’s work.

 

That is because something innate in you (so innate you aren’t aware it is there) reminds you that you cannot do someone else’s work for them. Only they can. How annoying they ask you and are not aware they are asking! This manifests in myths about relationships:

 

“If my husband/wife loved me, knew me they would know”.

 

Maybe yes, probably not. It is our job to know ourselves and ASK in a loving way what we need, prefer, like, want, desire, or require.  Don’t you like it when you don’t have to guess? You can focus right away on providing or explaining why you cannot meet this need and maybe even strategize on how you can help the other.

 

You don’t know what the other needs, feels, is thinking, why they did what they did or will do. You don’t. And they don’t know you either.  Each of us are so unique and on our own path it takes a lifetime of devoted self discovery to figure it out.  How can we expect others to do it for us? Don’t assume, ask.  Do it in a loving way detached from their ability to respond (it ain’t personal).

 

That goes for world events too.  We don’t know what happened between others, a cop and suspect, a politician and fill in the blank, a child and parent, or anyone else. We know what we need to know when we need to.  The rest we don’t need to know, to be love, grace, kind, forgiving, compassionate and of service giving our gifts. When we think we do need to know, we leave our business and control and get in to God’s and others- and that usually leads to suffering, misunderstanding and leaking of our own power.

 

That doesn’t mean we are ignorant of world events. Quite the contrary. We just acknowledge a universal truth.

 

Our job is not to save the world, but to save ourselves and that will change the world, one soul at a time.

 

What is the Woo Woo Breakdown? 

Get over it!  Just love yourself.  There is a reason this happened.  Don’t take it so personally.  It is their problem, let it go.  These are examples of what I call “woo woo” statements.  You know some magic is in them, but you can’t crack the code and access the relief you are seeking.  They remain words without any tangible meaning.

 

I decided to create the Woo Woo Breakdown and bring some insight. Take these as seeds and tend your own garden, add your own comments or post a Woo Woo for Barb to breakdown.

 

Formula—-examples of the conversation, what others want, when say it, what they mean, need versus.  What you need.  What you can do for yourself.

A Criminal in 60 Seconds

Sunday, 03 April 2016 23:51
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Bars

Bars by Steve Snodrass

A year ago for the Easter weekend I was at a friends in Santé Fe working on a creative project.  I was up early that morning and witnessed an amazing lunar eclipse.  We had a productive day and a wonderful Easter dinner and celebration. I made the conscious decision to stay for dinner and delay a three hour drive home.  I was in a very peaceful, harmonious and at one with myself and world place when I left Santé Fe.  I got lost on the way home taking a short cut and it was now dark.  All this set me up to be at an intersection 2 miles from my house at precisely 10 pm.

The Universe wanted me to be right where I was on Easter last year at 10 pm.  It was there a crazed dog ran in front of my car and I hit it.  Something I didn’t think I could ever bear to do.  In that split second everything changed.  In milliseconds mad, scared, confused, panicked and in shock.  I did not do one thing I thought I would have or expect others to do in the same situation.  I wanted to stop but I was scared.  My dog was in the front seat with me and I kept rolling for a few yards, then I thought a car was coming to follow me and I freaked and sped up.  Within seconds I was going 60 miles per hour plus on dirt roads, less than one mile from my house.

At the last turn I decided it was not safe to go home, what if someone followed me there?  As I sped to get out site, my heart raced, I was lucky I didn’t skid, I pulled into an area and turned off the car.  I waited.  Remembering this was an area where a crazed local dumped dogs he would shoot thinking they chased his cows.  There I sat in my sweat and fear for 10 minutes, looking for headlights, trying to get my head around what just happened because my heart was crushed.

At some point my sane voice said this is ridiculous go home.  So I drove home, without lights, pulled up to the house, emptied my car quickly and put it in the car, like a criminal would do.  I was afraid to let my dog out to do its business.  I came inside and tried breathing, meditation, music, and hy0pnosis to calm my spirt and go to bed.  I was afraid to drive that car to work the next day, afraid to go by that intersection in our small town.  Afraid to leave my dog at home. I was officially acting like a criminal and a fugitive at large.

I did go to work but I spoke to no one about it. It was my secret. My husband was out of town.  I held this secret along with incredible shame, guilt and judgment. How could I do that? I love dogs.  I would never forgive anyone else for not stopping, how could I not have stopped? What kind of cruel, self-righteous hypocrite am I?

I would have burst at the seams of emotion had anyone asked. I went to a friend’s house the evening after and wanted to share, but she had a story to share first. How her dog ran away and they never found her and did I know that if you hit a dog, you can call it in so an owner will know?   Three days after this happened there is a story about a wounded dog on the front page of the newspaper.  A couple asking for donations for surgery because there dog was shot at 10 pm, in Marvel on Easter Sunday.  Yea, what are the odds two dogs where harmed the same night in a 10 housing, one intersection community?

The grief and judgment was tearing me up inside. I had dreams of Michael Black and Ferguson cops (that was recent in the news) with mantras saying “it is between the two of them, you don’t know, you don’t know”.  I wanted to help the couple but feared retribution.  I know I was being asked to work with compassion but I could not find the path.  I was angry at the dog owners for letting their dog loose.  I was angry at myself.  I remembered all the times I made marginal calls and put my dog in harm’s way but got lucky. I went from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. All the while a voice kept saying “you don’t know”.

To bring you up to date.  I worked with Animal Control and they were grateful as the dog had two injuries, one from an air gun and one that fit being hit by a car.   They believe the dog was running mad having been shot and darted across the road in front of my car.  They confirmed that it likely was not safe to stop that night and that I could receive funds if my car was damaged (the law in Colorado). That felt like a paradox and so far from what my heart and mind needed.

The dog lived, had many surgeries by donation in Denver.  I am grateful.

I am still struck how I went from such a peaceful place to feeling and acting like a criminal. I don’t know what would have happened had I had a confrontation that night.  My emotions were stoked on fight or flight. I was so far from any Barb I knew or recognized, I was not in any mind.  I remembered that we indeed all have in us the ability to love deeply and perform unthinkable acts of kindness AND the ability to cause harm, to even kill another.  It is visceral and possible.  And it happens every day.  It is precisely what makes violence beget violence.  Someone has to be brave enough to step out of the madness and do something different, something radical means something opposite.

It took me some time to heal my mind, body and spirt from this event.  I gave extra thanks this Easter.  Blessing the dog, the couple and myself.  I took another oath to remember that “I don’t know” and don’t need to know.  I will do my best not to judge that those “in it” and remember they must answer with their soul’s path and to Source. It is none of my business.  I promised myself self-compassion and renewal – this is what will heal the world now and help to create a new order.

The beginning of this new astrological New Year, I invite you to do the same and see how it changes your perspective.