What is the Woo Woo Breakdown? 

Get over it!  Just love yourself.  There is a reason this happened.  Don’t take it so personally.  It is their problem, let it go.  These are examples of statements or similar statements people have said to me.  My reaction to them is usually “great thanks, how come I don’t feel any better?” They are said with good intentions and I trust they do have a deep meaning and power to transform whatever emotional muck I am in. However, while I am in my emotional turmoil these statements don’t help at all.

I call these kind of statements “woo woo”.  Woo woo in that you know some magic is in them but until you get the code you can’t crack it open and access the relief you are seeking.  They remain words without any tangible meaning.  Just love yourself sounds really valid, like something I should be doing, but what the heck does that mean? What does that look like in my life right now?

I decided to create the Woo Woo Breakdown and bring some insight.  We are all wise and know ourselves best and we can all learn from each other.  Take these as seeds and tend your own garden, add your own comments or post a Woo Woo for Barb to breakdown.

Friend, Partner, Co-Worker: “Just get over it!  That happened so long ago, can’t you just get over it?”  Your Response: “Well no, obviously if I could we wouldn’t be having this conversation now would we?“

What is a Woo Woo Breakdown? What does it mean to Just Get Over It? That depends 100% on you and the circumstances.  That is the point. It is your process and yours alone.  When others want you to get over something it is because they want it to go away. They may genuinely want you to feel better but don’t know how to make you feel better or realize they it is not their responsibility to make you feel anything, much less better.  Saying just get over it implies that you should be at point B and all of your being is still at point A.  Like somehow they have the magic solution to get to L.A. from San Francisco without ever getting in a car, bus or plane.  As if it was a simple event, not a process. And if you were in L.A. they could move on with there agenda.  They are making “it” about them while their language appears to be concerned about you.

Bless their good intentions, but don’t plug into their agenda.  You know you best and it is your responsibility to honor whatever process you are in, whatever road you are on and the rate at which you travel.  The way to get over it is to go through it, not around it or beam yourself to L.A. and skip the journey.  You can of course, but whatever you are being called to process, whatever you GET TO process will come again.  Perhaps different circumstances, people or events but same movie.  Set boundaries for your process.  Acknowledge it is a process not an event.  Identify what you need.  Feelings reflect a need.  Once you identify what you need, how can you give that to yourself?   This is a critical piece, giving what you need to yourself and not asking others to do what is your work for you.  What is it you want to feel?  What makes you feel that way that you can control or give yourself?

And somewhere along your process, like it is an event not a process, that you are not.  If you could just get to point B, you wouldn’t feel what you feel.  You can go from point A to point B without moving, without stepping forward, getting in a car or on a bus and moving. Giving yourself permission to process is:

Formula—-examples of the conversation, what others want, when say it, what they mean, need versus.  What you need.  What you can do for yourself.